In families where a child has autism, there’s a 45% chance of at least one parent having anxiety, ADHD or autism themselves.

That there’s a high chance of one or both parents having heightened sensitivity, awareness, and being overwhelmed.

And this is BEFORE dealing with a mystifying child!

Just stop if possible. Even if it’s to take a shower and think quietly

Use the acronym, HALT

Hungry

Angry

Lonely

Tired

To stop and take care of your basic needs

‘Isn’t this selfish?’ is the question everybody asks.

Not at all. Think about it:

If you don’t show yourself kindness and consideration, how can you extend it to anyone else?

What’s more, your child with autism is super sensitive. The greatest gift you can give him/her is a calm and loving parent. The best relationship comes from modeling. Once you’ve taken care of yourself, you’ll no longer meltdown when you drop the milk or are bombarded by life; you’ll be able to take it all in your stride, and your child will appreciate this.

In an emergency?

Yep. Nothing changes if you’re barely surviving. Thriving is what you were born to do.

When you’re constantly on the edge of exploding, it’s unnerving for you and those around you.

It’s imperative you move to a place of calm, so that if something goes wrong, you may get agitated, but won’t explode.

Once you apply self-care, the crises become fewer.

Examples of self-care:

• Meditation
• Yoga (begin to heal your mind through your body)
• Breathe
• Paint
• Play music
• Explore a new hobby
• Spend time with friends
• Try new activities

None of these things need to be expensive or take a lot of time. Have your children do them with you too if that works or find 5 minutes alone.

1. ASK FOR HELP! YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO IT ALONE. NOR SHOULD YOU.

2. Imagine this is the end of the world. IDENTIFY THE ONE THING YOU NEED TO DO NOW – AND DO IT.

3. Join our community …post and ask for help and local resources….there’s an amazing community of people who have also struggled too, and are there to help.

4. Ask your family doctor or other medical professionals for referrals

• • DON’T GIVE UP! Keep going until you get what you need. Take the names of everyone you talk with, so that there’s accountability. Be your own best advocate.
  • Stay calm with whoever you deal with. They’ll be more eager to help if you treat them with kindness.

5. Get to know your child better. Children are great at helping you help them. Ask what he/she needs.

6. Let go of as many other stressors as you can.

7. Join our groups and call friends who are going through similar things.

8. Be careful who you let into your life. You can only afford helpful people at this stage.

9. When everyone’s gone to bed, or when you have peace, a journal to get clear on your situation

• • List all your good points.
  • List the good times in your life.
  • List the times when you’ve held it together. Identify your strengths.
  • List your skills.
  • Plan for the future. Without a vision, it’s hard to bring it to life.
  • Think of the ways you can encourage your child/children to help rather than run amok.

10. Encourage your child/children to take part in family activities, do projects together, and to help in the home. A fun team starts with good communication.